Why does “A” hold your hand for so long after a handshake? “B” calls you more frequently now and even calls late at night. I hate the way “C” stares into your eyes when talking to you. Why are you so excited each time “D” calls you? You always sit on the laps of “E” when he is here…
Saturday, November 29, 2008
My own side of the story continues… If you haven’t read part 1 yet, please read it now before continuing.
...then we went on and on. We did everything to please each other. Everything EXCEPT kissing, “touching”, and having sex. Remember I said we were “still friends”. We actually did fall in love with each other but didn’t realize it yet. Oh, or should I say we were in love but didn’t want to believe it? Yeah, that is right. I was his first, and he found it difficult believing that a lady could really care for him that much. On the other hand, I had once been in a relationship, and when it failed, I thought men are rags. I found it difficult believing that at last I found an angel walking on earth. As I earlier said, keeping each other happy was a job we took without signing in for. At times, we would go shopping together, cook together, go out for a walk, learn together and spend the nights together (always in my room, not his (he he he). He was very caring, polite and helpful. At times, I can notice he gets angry because I refuse he shouldn’t help me, although he would try to hide it. Come on, what would you do in my place? Allow him help you clean the dishes or mob the floor? Though fun, that’s a little rude. The only thing he loved so much that I didn’t like was going to the cinema. I like watching movies, but going to the cinema is something else. I never did that. He was somehow disappointed, but looked for a solution. He bought a computer and installed it in my room. It was a Compaq Pentium II with a very nice portable Phillips monitor. The problem of the cinema was solved. He would go to a movie rental shop and rent 3 movies for to watch during the night. We watched movies 2 or 3 times a week. His choice was always 1 western romance, 1 Hindi romance, and 1 horror movie. Although I loved the horror movies because they always gave me a reason and opportunity to move closer to him, lie on his chest and hold him tight, he realized some of them really scared me to hell, so he eventually replaced the horror with fiction. Toward my exams, when the work load really increases, he will take the computer and keep in his room so that it won’t be a distraction to me. I used to play games for several hours, and we watched movies for several hours. He even limited the frequency of his visits. Thank God I was always bored without him, the games and the movies, but I guess he was doing that for my own good. After my exams, he would bring back the computer and everything goes to normal. Continuously for almost 11 months, everyone around us (except my elder sister) believed we were having an affair. He was in no relationship, neither was I, but no one was making any move towards the other. September, October and early November 2004 were the darkest months in my life. When I was about leaving for the three-month (June, July and August 2004) long holiday after the second semesters of my university studies, I saw a very strange attitude in Uncle Che. He was bitterly jealous of my friends of the opposite sex. His complaints were never ending. Just read some of the naughty ones below.
Poor me! I could have been rejoicing over those questions. I could have understood he is being jealous. I could have understood love starts with jealousy. Instead, the questions irritated me and got me angry. One day, I politely told him he is not my father or spouse. Then he promised not to bother me about them again. When he stopped asking them, I felt there was a big hole in my life that needed to be filled. I felt like I needed him to pull me left and right and tell me what is wrong or right.
When I finally went on holidays, and missed Che for a period of three months, that was when I finally realized and agreed that I was in love with him. The signs were so obvious that my elder sister realized it, and helped me open up to him. She complained I was always absent-mind and nervous, refusing to eat regularly, and even called Che’s name more than once in my dreams. When I finally agreed to her that I was loving Che already, she encouraged me to tell him, and that he would be happy about an intimate relationship. I felt she was right, but yet the African society (culture) does not appreciate a woman making a first move on a man. That is a sign of no self-respect and the woman making herself look cheap. Who cares? When love is concerned, I think of nothing else. I loved him, very much, and I believed he likes me very much. I also believed if that likeness turns to love, he will tell me.
Thank God a few months later, I was saved. 20th October 2004 was the day he used body language and display of emotions to tell me. Then, I was smart and I “heard” him loud and clear. I just had to pretend so that he uses a more direct method to deliver the good news. The next day, 21st October (which we look upon as our love anniversary) he couldn’t bear it any longer. I can imagine every bit of trouble he went through, because I have been there and done that, ha ha ha. He moved up to me and told me directly that he loves me. That was the first time he talked to me without looking into my eyes. He made it sound as if he regretted falling in love with me. He apologized that it was a feeling he could not control. He thought I will consider it a betrayal of confidence. He thought I would look at him as “just one of those guys trying to have his way”. No! Why should I take things that way. This guy has worked hard enough to earn my soul, not just my love. He has patiently stood by me for almost 11 months and never hesitated helping me and doing everything to see me happy. He has passed at least 3 dozens of unimaginable tests that I believe no other human walking on this earth can. Although at one point he got jealous of other friends of the opposite sex, and acted funny, he didn’t loose his sense of respect. And even now that he is asking for my love, he is trying to run away from it. He still doesn’t believe he has earned it. He thinks it is too much favor for him to get. He is not doing anything to flatter and deceive me with promises, or tempting me to accept the relat9onship. Come on, girls, let’s be considerate here. Love is expensive, yes, but not that costly. If you were in my place you will do what I did. I fell for him three months before that day. All I needed was for him to ask the right question so that I have the chance of saying “YES”. The time has come. How can I say “yes”? There are at least a thousand ways of doing that. Guess which one I chose. “Please, don’t go”. I felt like jumping on him so that he would catch me and hold me close to his chest while I stare at him, then close my eyes and wait for the first kiss…