Friends from college and high school days, most of them, have already settled down. If not married, they already have cuddly kids of their own. Some of them are about to get married and are inviting me on their wedding. Even friends that I haven't heard from for a long time have communicated with me lately through text messages and emails. All of them ask the same questions. "Who did you get married to?" or "When are you gonna have kids of your own?". I tell them I ask the same question myself and make a joke out of it. Most of them get even more surprised of my not having a boyfriend.
Not that I'm choosy since I'm not really that pretty, you know. It's just that I haven't met the man that I think I can spend the rest of my life with yet. I go out with friends and meet some guys. It's either he don't seem interesting to me or the other way around. No chemistry whatsoever.
Some friends told me that they think men find me intimidating. They might think so because I really don't pay too much attention to guys. I think they won't like me anyway. Sigh.
My past experiences with ex's and friends' experiences with relationships may have affected my view about love and marriage. I don't ask for a perfect man or a perfect love because I know there's no such thing. Maybe I'm just not ready to get hurt. I know I shouldn't think that way but I don't trust myself for being in a relationship because I'm afraid I'll just give up on it.
Better yet, I'd rather enjoy being single for now. When I get ready, I'll let our Father know and ask Him for my prince. In that way, whoever that man is, I know I'll be happy with him for the rest of my life because he's God's sent.
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